![]() Revised thesis: The welfare system prevents people in the lower socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets. Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke. By replacing the general words like university students and work hard, you can better focus your research and gain more direction in your writing.Ĭlarify ideas that need explanation by asking questions that narrow your thesis. The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard. Revised thesis: Nursing students must have discipline and persistence to manage their course workload and be successful in their course evaluations. ![]() Working thesis: University students have to work hard to succeed in school. Identify and replace all nonspecific words, such as people, everything, society, or life, with more precise words to reduce any vagueness. See Table 6.4 for ways to remove irrelevant parts and revise your thesis. Revisions will help you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of your paper. Working thesis statements will become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Remember, you will begin with a working thesis statement, an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process. Your thesis statement will probably change as you write so that it reflects exactly what you discuss in your paper. Chapter 6: The Writing Process and Pre-Writing
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